APRIL 19 : I GAVE UP A KIDNEY FIVE YEARS AGO TODAY …and I don’t mind using all Capital Letters to say so .

I am a …..

LIVING ORGAN DONOR… SHAKING THE KIDNEY TREE ….
GIVE IT UP…..YOU, ONLY NEED ONE.

Dear friends ,

This holiday season , why not consider giving the gift of an internal organ.

My name is Vermin Supreme . I am a living kidney donor .

I am using my elevated moral position, as an organ donor, to make this urgent appeal .

Right now , some , 70,000 Americans are in need of a kidney .

My dear friend , Virgil Fowler , is one of these Americans .

Virgil is a simple family man . A man of simple tastes . He lives a simple lifestyle .

Through no fault of his own , he finds himself in end stage renal failure . Bummer , dude .

VERMIN SUPREME WANTS TO GUILT TRIP YOU .

When my friend Luke Clemente’s kidneys were failing, a few years back ,

I jokingly offered to trade one of my kidneys for one of his testicles .

Unfortunately for him , I had already committed to giving one of mine,

(kidney,not testicle ) , to my mother , who was also entering end stage kidney failure .

He died , but my mother lived .

I dedicated my kidney donation to him.

FACT : YOU HAVE ONE MORE KIDNEY THAN YOU REALLY NEED !

It costs nothing to screen to be a potential kidney( or marrow or liver) donor .

In fact, it’s a great way to get a free medical checkup !

( I got a free colonoscopy as part of my screening.)

It starts with a simple blood test . They put both your antibodies in a little test tube wrestling ring .

If the anti-bodies fight too much…maybe you’re not a good match.

But, if they don’t fight. BINGO. You could be a donor . It’s fast . It’s fun . It’s easy .

Of course , there is a long series of screening tests ,beyond that ,to assure compatibility .

Anywhere along the way , even if promising , you could be rejected, for any number of reasons .

FACT : A DONOR WILL REGAIN 90% OF THEIR ORIGINAL KIDNEY CAPACITY
…. ie you can still drink.

NO WORRIES : They will not take your organs from you unless you are extremely healthy.
They will only take the organs that you allow them .
They even write on your belly with a magic marker to make sure .

At any time during the process , you can opt out , and change your mind. No questions asked.

(The recipient will be told you were not an acceptable match.)

FACT : EVEN IF NOT COMPATIBLE WITH VIRGIL , YOU COULD STILL GIVE ONE UP AND SAVE A LIFE .

AND STILL BE DOING VIRGIL A SOLID. If you do donate to a needy stranger, on the list, whom you do match ,

through some complex set of calculations , Virgil , will be bumped up the list .

(or something like that, if my recall is correct .)

FACT : RECOVERY TIME WAS PRETTY DAMN QUICK. The operation is laprascopic .

A couple day post-op stay in the hospital.

After two weeks , I was back on the playground, wrangling rugrats .

At three weeks, I was riding a Stegosaurus ,at the grand opening of the Creation Museum.

After six weeks , I was back carrying and climbing 24 foot ladders . (will work for food)

Of course, I don’t want to minimize the first week and a half of ‘hard’ recovery.

( Couch bound , with a pain equivalent, of a good hard kick to the nuts .)

But hey ,That’s what pain meds are for.

DONATING ORGANS AFTER YOU’RE DEAD IS NICE , BUT WHY NOT GO FOR THE EXTRA GUSTO .

DONATE YOUR ORGANS WHILE YOU ARE STILL ALIVE . NOW THAT’S EXTREME .

My name is Vermin Supreme, I approve of this message . Thank you for your time.

If interested call the VIRGIL KIDNEY DRIVE HOT LINE 1-207-461-0442

or e-mail Deandre at : virguall@aol.com

We are stardust we are carbon, we are bio bags of organs .

1 Comment

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One response to “APRIL 19 : I GAVE UP A KIDNEY FIVE YEARS AGO TODAY …and I don’t mind using all Capital Letters to say so .

  1. You, my friend, are an every-day hero. We need to get people talking and thinking about organ donation. In Australia, a person’s wishes to donate their organs in the event of their death is often over-ridden by their grieving families. If people are willing to give up their organs while they are alive, well that is really awesome, but to be over-ridden in death due to lack of communication is a sad, sad thing.

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