Jessica Simpson: ‘I Don’t Brush My Teeth’ .

Jessica Simpson: ‘I Don’t Brush My Teeth’
Simpson says she uses listerine and her sweater to clean her teeth.

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Valentines’Day Set List

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MASS. PASSES FIRST MANDATORY TOOTHBRUSH LAW IN THE NATION

NO JOKE , MY PRETTIES . THIS IS FOR REAL . IT’S NOW . IT’S ON .
New 2010 Tooth Brushing Regulations To Take Effect Immediately .

from the Massachusetts Department of Early Education and Care :

“Is it true that we have to brush children’s teeth?”

“EEC’s new regs require educators to assist children in brushing their teeth whenever children remain in care for more than four hours and/or consume a meal in child care.

One in four Massachusetts kindergartners have dental decay; 50% of which goes untreated. Low income children affected almost twice as often as their more affluent peers.

Early tooth loss is linked to failure to thrive, impaired speech development, poor concentration, and reduced self-esteem.

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YOU ,GIVE VIRGIL KIDNEY NOW

LIVING ORGAN DONOR SHAKING THE KIDNEY TREE.

Dear friends ,

This holiday season , why not consider giving the gift of an internal organ.

My name is Vermin Supreme . I am a living kidney donor .

I am using my elevated moral position, as an organ donor, to make this urgent appeal .

Right now , some , 70,000 Americans are in need of a kidney .

My dear friend ,  Virgil Fowler , is one of these Americans .

Virgil is a simple family man . A man of simple tastes . He lives a simple lifestyle .

Through no fault of his own , he finds himself in end stage renal failure . Bummer , dude :(.

VERMIN SUPREME WANTS TO GUILT TRIP  YOU .

When my friend Luke Clemente’s kidneys were failing, a few years back ,

I jokingly offered to trade one of my kidneys for one of his testicles .

Unfortunately for him , I had already committed to giving one of mine,

(kidney,not testicle ) ,  to my mother , who was also entering end stage kidney failure .

He died , but my mother lived .

I dedicated my kidney donation to him.

FACT : YOU  HAVE ONE MORE KIDNEY THAN YOU REALLY NEED !

It costs nothing to screen to be a potential kidney( or marrow or liver) donor .

In fact, it’s a great way to get a free medical checkup !

( I got a free colonoscopy  as part of my screening.)

It starts with a simple blood test . They put both your antibodies in a little test tube wrestling ring .

If the anti-bodies fight too much…maybe you’re not a good match.

But, if they  don’t fight.   BINGO.    You could be a donor . It’s fast . It’s fun . It’s easy .

Of course , there is a long series of screening tests ,beyond that ,to assure compatibility .

Anywhere along the way , even if promising , you could be rejected, for any number of reasons .

FACT : A DONOR  WILL REGAIN 90% OF THEIR ORIGINAL KIDNEY CAPACITY. ie you can still drink.

NO WORRIES :  They will not take your organs from you unless you are extremely healthy.

At any time during the process ,  you can opt out , and change your mind. No questions asked.

(The recipient will be told you were not an acceptable match.)

FACT : EVEN IF NOT COMPATIBLE WITH VIRGIL , YOU COULD STILL GIVE ONE UP AND SAVE A LIFE .

AND STILL BE DOING VIRGIL A SOLID. If you do  donate to a needy stranger, on the list, whom you do match ,

through some complex  set of calculations , Virgil , will be bumped up the list .

(or something like that, if my recall is correct .)

FACT : RECOVERY TIME WAS PRETTY DAMN QUICK. The operation is laprascopic .

A couple day  post-op stay in the hospital.

After two weeks , I was back on the playground, wrangling rugrats .

At three weeks, I was riding a Stegosaurus ,at the grand opening of the Creation Museum.

After six weeks , I was back carrying and climbing 24 foot ladders . (will work for food)

Of course, I don’t want to minimize the first week and a half of ‘hard’ recovery.

( Couch bound , with a pain equivalent, of a good  hard kick to the nuts .)

But hey ,That’s what pain meds are for.

DONATING ORGANS AFTER YOU’RE DEAD IS NICE , BUT WHY NOT GO FOR THE EXTRA GUSTO .

DONATE YOUR ORGANS WHILE YOU ARE STILL ALIVE . NOW THAT’S EXTREME .

My name is Vermin Supreme, I approve of this message . Thank you for your time.

If interested call the VIRGIL KIDNEY DRIVE HOT LINE 1-207-461-0442

or e-mail Deandre  at :  virguall@aol.com

We are stardust we are carbon, we are bio bags of organs .

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GEORGE TUCKER HAS LEFT THE CAMPER

George Tucker recently completed a residency at Becky and Vermin World .

See you in Rainbowland ,  brother .

XX

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BROTHER BLUE

 

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G20 IS THAT A NIGHTSTICK IN YOUR HAND OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?

VERMIN PIX FROM G20

twitter coverage of clown warfare

G20 PROTESTERS … A GATHERING OF THE GREAT UNWASHED

By Neal Boortz @ September 25, 2009 8:21 AM

Every time the G20 decides to hold a summit, you can guarantee that the grungy moonbats will be there to protest. When I say moonbats, I am talking about the true underbelly of the unproductive class. They get out their signs about the evils of capitalism. They throw rocks at police cars, roll trash bins around the streets, light things on fire. Basically their form of protest is on the mental level of a child. Throwing a temper tantrum. I wouldn’t expect anything less. And sure enough … they showed up again in Pittsburgh. Police using pepper spray and smoke to contain the violent protesters. Me? I would vote for dogs.

This is all a big game with these groady kids. Many of them just take their little anarchist party on the road, traveling from location to location to stage their little protests and smoke some weed. In no way do these ratty kids represent their generation .. they’re aberrations. The worst thing you can do is ignore than.

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